Lea Choi

I’m an Anglo‑American word‑lover married to a Korean partner whose brain speaks in systems, not feelings.

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Our cultural and neurological differences collided when we hit a relational breaking point. I needed connection through words; they needed space to process.

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We almost divorced—until we learned how neurotype and culture shape every aspect of communication. Now I devote my career to translating those gaps so other couples don’t bleed out before they find common language.

Seven Steps—Multicultural, Neurodiverse Edition

1. Crisis Management – Respecting honor/shame dynamics common in immigrant families while locking down safety and boundaries.
    

2. Story Gathering – Written timelines translated if English isn’t the heart language.
    

3. Why It Happened – We explore executive‑function collisions, cultural scripts, and unmet attachment needs without turning neurodiversity into the villain.
    

4. Empathy Across Languages – Emotion wheels in both partners’ first language; somatic cues for those who think in images, not words.
    

5. Owning the Damage – Specific amends that fit sensory limits and cultural expectations.
    

6. Concrete Change – Weekly check‑ins, color‑coded progress boards, and external accountability apps.
    

7. Renewed Commitments – We co‑write vows that honor both heritage and neurotype.